I don’t think it will get any easier any time soon. It’s difficult to sort being overjoyed about her future from feeling like my best friend has moved away.
I think the fear, as parents, may be that our children will forget about us. It’s possible they will taste their first absolute freedoms and independence and be so consumed, so thrilled and so stressed and they will forget that their home base is even still their home.
I haven’t really gotten to the point where I believe that yet. I think the situation is still too new. But, on nights like these when the house is quiet, and the rain keeps falling, it’s very hard to imagine that she wouldn’t be having the time of her life being anywhere but here.
Then, I remember being that same young woman. I remember, with every change in myself and my life, being so excited that my mother could be witness to it. In my mind it felt like it would be an affirmation for her that I was happy. Pride, perhaps, for both of us. I’m just not sure. I only know it was because of her that we were all so capable and I always wanted her to know that and to see it.
No matter how independent I became, I never stopped wanting to share with her or even spend a quiet, rainy night like this at home together.
But, that may be the tradeoff for us parents and our children alike. We do our absolute best for them their whole lives, devoted and sacrificing around the clock. Then they move away. We are by ourselves again but they are capable. They are happy, and that is the affirmation.